Today is celebrated as FATHER’S DAY. Every one wish their father on this day especially when kids are abroad where the parents stay at old age home and on this day they have a celebration and get together.

Do we really need a father’s day to wish our parents?  This reminds me of a few incidents regarding my patients and I thought to pen it down.

[subscribe2]A busy Monday duty  nurse brought a medical file of a 65year old lady. I just flipped the papers to see the history of the patient. I was amazed to see well organized file of the patient with an abstract as first page. All the treatment have been summarized as per date, I was very impressed with the way the file has been maintained and that indicates the family member is very caring and he spends lot of time for the patient. I asked the sister to send the patient. An old man entered he was not even walking straight but he did not forget to bring any scan or report that has been done before. He was struggling to hold the big size scan folders; I helped him to keep them on the couch and requested him to take the seat. I was little bit confused as the patient was a female of 65 yrs.

I asked him Uncle who’s the patient.

He took a long breath and said doctor it’s my wife, I have not brought her as it is difficult for me to shift her and I will get her once you see the reports and tell me when to bring her.

I said OK uncle and started to flip through all reports with uncle explaining the ordeal he and his wife were facing  in the last 6 months. She was diagnosed with soft tissue sarcoma a kind of cancer affecting her thigh muscles. She was operated twice by a surgeon (Not an Oncologist) and had been regularly following for dressing. Now she developed relapse and had been asked to see me.

We discussed the treatment options the probable outcome etc. She needed radiation and had to be brought daily to the hospital for the treatment. He was really tensed to hear that she had to be brought daily then I asked him what the problem is; and he explained me there is no one at home he has to take the help of building care taker to get her down the staircase from 3^rd floor. I couldn’t resist further and asked “Uncle why have you come alone, where are your children”. His expression changed and he said “Doctor I have two sons they are engineers and are working in the US, they cannot come due to their professional commitments and their children’s education to attain during the whole course of treatment”. Then I said “why don’t you go and stay with them”. The Old man took a long breath and said it is too costly treatment in USA and we don’t want to leave our mother land. We both have decided to live and die here. Lot of other patients were waiting for their turn though I wanted to speak to him for hours but I had to cut short, I explained him the further treatment and asked them to come on specified date and time so that aunty does not have to wait for long for her treatment.  He left with a broad smile and hope.

After he went I was really disturbed as they deserve to be taken care of now in their old age. The same day night my son had some gastritis and he was vomiting intermittently the whole night and I and my wife were awake whole night taking care of him. That made me think  of the same old man who had come today morning would have spent countless nights for the kids without a good sleep. He must have taken leave from office only to take his children to doctor or to attend the annual sports day.

Then why children in turn cannot take care of them especially when they are dealing with cancer. Is it difficult to find a job in India or we don’t want to compromise on the life style or we think we will not get job satisfaction. Being involved in our busy schedule and taking care of our children we forget about our Parents and their emotions and expectations.

The Other day I was seeing a “SWADESH” a movie acted excellently by Shahrukh Khan and directed by one of my favorite Ashutosh Gowariker. Everyone appreciated the need of rural India and how a person can change the life but what everyone missed was the depiction of the Old lady who was the grandmother of the hero of the story. She was so happy as she has her child back and never wanted him to go back and also she didn’t want to go with him.

All I want to say is our parents need us every day and we have to stand by them always at the time of need as they stood by us through our thick and thin.  When the son goes to USA for a job the father very proudly tells everyone that his son is abroad and will be earning in $. He will have better life now but deep within he does have the fear that his son will never come back to him.

I urge all my readers to take a pledge

• Call your parents at least once a day. That really makes their day.
• Please ensure to have health Insurance for your elderly parents. If you are abroad then please have a insurance covering your parents so that you won’t be scared to take them as it is very costly.
• If your parents are ill please be with them.

HAPPY FATHERS DAY. Please don’t forget to give call to your parents now and ensure that every day will be a father’s day for him. Please don’t forget to spend few seconds to pen down your feedback as it is very encouraging.